Is it ever clean enough?

i ask myself that often. and it's not anyone elses' fault but my own. i've never actually been diagnosed with OCD but i think i might have a touch of it. somehow my body is wired that when i get up first thing in the a.m. i get the coffee pot started (gotta have that) and while that's dripping, i'm waking up kids and making sure to i throw a remark or two in about getting their rooms picked up and dirty clothes down to laundry room. i sound like my mom. "if you don't get em to the laundry i don't wash em", or "there's just no reason your rooms should look like this". does that sound familiar. and after i have them up and rolling, i'm back down in my room making the bed, bc how dare something be messed up. then it's off to the bathroom to brush my teeth....where while i'm doing that i'm noticing all the toothpaste on the mirror. of course that's got to be my husband's doing bc i don't brush my teeth like that. lol so before i can even get done brushing i'm already getting the cleaning stuff out bc i can't just clean a part of the bathroom. and all this before i leave to take the kids to school. i drive myself absolutely nuts and my family too i think. here it is about to rain outside and i come straight home from taking the kids and i'm off to wash the truck. (not before checkin my fbook though. lol) i'm so jealous of my friends..i swear. i want my house to always be immaculate (sp) bc someone might stop by. but my friends live in their houses. i'm sure u know what i mean by that. it's just that they don't fret over things being put exactly where they go just as long as they're close. or how things are done, ect. that's what i like. i like it if you have to kick some toys out of the way to make ur way through the door. oh no. not at my crib. lol now, when the baby was younger, yes. but now that he's three, he looks at me like i'm a nutcase always picking something up or cleaning something. oh well. i hope i can at least instill in my kids that they need to take care of themselves and their home and belongings.

ok. on a l ighter note. don't you think it's neat when your baby can't find you? i mean, they're so used to you being close that if you slip off without them knowing it they're hollering "Moma......where u at?" and then they come hunting you. and when they find you it's like a sigh of relief for them and the say ok and back to what they were doing. i know that's probably trivial to some but i think it's sweet. it's like they're young adults. they're doing to us what we do to them.

i'm glad i got a little one at home though. it makes me slow down and think about things. but sometimes not even he can keep me from going off. do you ever get tired of people using you or your family? that's all my husband's family does. constantly needing money, to borrow tractors, vehicles, you name it. if we got it, they want it. it drives me nuts and it causes a lot of tension between me and him some times. here's an example: my husband, being the kind man that he is....yeah whatever, cosigned for a vehicle for one of his cousins. well not only did he cosign he loaned her the damn down payment. also, we ended up putting the car on our insurance policy bc she just couldn't afford her own at the time, go figure. anyway, we have now been paying for full coverage insurance on her car for over a year, and not once has she made one payment nor paid us back any back payments we have paid for. well, bottom line is.............she got into a wreck the other day and the car is not driveable at this time. my husband and i have several other vehicles so if something was to happen we had backup. well, we never added rental car coverage to our insurance, so.........at this time she has no way to go. she had the nerve to get pissed at me bc she wasn't going to get a rental car. now this is the person who hasn't paid one dime towards insurance. and now, she's hurt.............do you see the writing on the wall? and if that isn't bad enough....the same day the wrecked happened, we received a certified letter saying the car was fixing to be repoed due to nonpayment. note hasn't been paid for 90 days. so.......again i tell my husband, as i do so often..........................I TOLD U SO! you cannot help ur family bc they screw you every time. so now, not only are we going to have to most likely take the notes up on the car bc he's on the note, she's gonna try to sew our insurance comp. because she got banged up and can't work. what the hell ever. i state it often-with family, who needs enemies. here we are trying to pay bills off and every time i look around a new one comes up.
and not by our choice.

my life does get pretty interesting, i just don't think i can sit and type about every single thing that happens to me in one day without being here for hours. so i'll have to take a break and get back with you. i gotta get ready to head and pick up my stepdaughter from school and then travel to watch my son play bball. it's his first year and his first time to ever touch a bball. needless to say, he's not that good and don't get to play often. but like i tell him, you joined the team bench time or play time you'll be there to support ur team.

my advice to anyone reading this and even those that don't is : before you loan family money or overextend yourself for your family and they have a history of not coming through and doing what they say they will, DON'T!!!! because all it's going to do is cause trouble. from having to confront them about it or fight with your spouse bc your family has to do without for paying their bills.

i'm outa here. be back later. take care and God bless u.

Today is a new Day!!

Well, let's see. today is my first day to blog, so here goes. i was told to just talk, so that's what i'm going to do. can't promise you it'll always be something happy or uplifting but whose life is all that every day.

do you ever ask "why can't my life just be normal?", i do. i'm so worn out. and anyone with children would know that. i have five kids, 4 with me and a stepdaughter who lives with her real mom. (which is a whole other monster in itself-the exwife)..........i get so tired of hearing, what do you do? i have a husband who works away and it sucks, for the most part. and every time he comes home, the disruption is crazy. we have structure and a way to do everything and when he comes home, that's all up in smoke. it drives me nuts. and i'm sure any of u who have a husband that works off knows what i'm talking about. we miss him terribly when he's gone, but are ready for him to go back when it's time. lol

my kids age from 18 to 3. and no i'm not crazy yet. but i think i'm getting closer every day. if i'm not dealing with the oldest not wanting to do a damn thing in school but mac on girls, i've got a 15 yr old stepdaughter and 13 yr old son at home who would rather argue about the color of the sky than get along. now don't get me wrong. they're good kids and they actually get along for the most part. and then there's the little man. he's 3 and he thinks he runs the show. which, in all reality, he pretty much does. i mean, he's gotta be taken care of and watched continuously where the others can fend for themselves. they're all at his beck and call, he's got em wrapped.

life is good. but when it's bad, it's bad and i'm sure u all can relate. i tell myself that i didn't sign up for this, but actually i guess i did huh? i started selling candles to mainly have something to do, but it's enjoyable. i have set up my website and have done pretty well. it gives me a break from the everyday hum ho life of laundry, housecleaning, and so forth and so on. they're great products and of course i've gotta try em out to report on them. if you'd like feel free to go by and look at my website and ask any questions you'd like. it is: www.mygc.com/smsowell. i will be advertising so often on here so i hope u don't mind.

please stay tuned for daily posts on my life and how life is lived here in my small texas town. i think you will find that no matter where you are i bet we all share a whole lot similarities. i also hope to meet new friends as well. hope u all have a good day. who knows, i will probably be on here more than once a day depending on the craziness of the day. Smile and pray, two things u should do every day.

thanks again, see ya soon