Is it ever clean enough?

i ask myself that often. and it's not anyone elses' fault but my own. i've never actually been diagnosed with OCD but i think i might have a touch of it. somehow my body is wired that when i get up first thing in the a.m. i get the coffee pot started (gotta have that) and while that's dripping, i'm waking up kids and making sure to i throw a remark or two in about getting their rooms picked up and dirty clothes down to laundry room. i sound like my mom. "if you don't get em to the laundry i don't wash em", or "there's just no reason your rooms should look like this". does that sound familiar. and after i have them up and rolling, i'm back down in my room making the bed, bc how dare something be messed up. then it's off to the bathroom to brush my teeth....where while i'm doing that i'm noticing all the toothpaste on the mirror. of course that's got to be my husband's doing bc i don't brush my teeth like that. lol so before i can even get done brushing i'm already getting the cleaning stuff out bc i can't just clean a part of the bathroom. and all this before i leave to take the kids to school. i drive myself absolutely nuts and my family too i think. here it is about to rain outside and i come straight home from taking the kids and i'm off to wash the truck. (not before checkin my fbook though. lol) i'm so jealous of my friends..i swear. i want my house to always be immaculate (sp) bc someone might stop by. but my friends live in their houses. i'm sure u know what i mean by that. it's just that they don't fret over things being put exactly where they go just as long as they're close. or how things are done, ect. that's what i like. i like it if you have to kick some toys out of the way to make ur way through the door. oh no. not at my crib. lol now, when the baby was younger, yes. but now that he's three, he looks at me like i'm a nutcase always picking something up or cleaning something. oh well. i hope i can at least instill in my kids that they need to take care of themselves and their home and belongings.

ok. on a l ighter note. don't you think it's neat when your baby can't find you? i mean, they're so used to you being close that if you slip off without them knowing it they're hollering "Moma......where u at?" and then they come hunting you. and when they find you it's like a sigh of relief for them and the say ok and back to what they were doing. i know that's probably trivial to some but i think it's sweet. it's like they're young adults. they're doing to us what we do to them.

i'm glad i got a little one at home though. it makes me slow down and think about things. but sometimes not even he can keep me from going off. do you ever get tired of people using you or your family? that's all my husband's family does. constantly needing money, to borrow tractors, vehicles, you name it. if we got it, they want it. it drives me nuts and it causes a lot of tension between me and him some times. here's an example: my husband, being the kind man that he is....yeah whatever, cosigned for a vehicle for one of his cousins. well not only did he cosign he loaned her the damn down payment. also, we ended up putting the car on our insurance policy bc she just couldn't afford her own at the time, go figure. anyway, we have now been paying for full coverage insurance on her car for over a year, and not once has she made one payment nor paid us back any back payments we have paid for. well, bottom line is.............she got into a wreck the other day and the car is not driveable at this time. my husband and i have several other vehicles so if something was to happen we had backup. well, we never added rental car coverage to our insurance, so.........at this time she has no way to go. she had the nerve to get pissed at me bc she wasn't going to get a rental car. now this is the person who hasn't paid one dime towards insurance. and now, she's hurt.............do you see the writing on the wall? and if that isn't bad enough....the same day the wrecked happened, we received a certified letter saying the car was fixing to be repoed due to nonpayment. note hasn't been paid for 90 days. so.......again i tell my husband, as i do so often..........................I TOLD U SO! you cannot help ur family bc they screw you every time. so now, not only are we going to have to most likely take the notes up on the car bc he's on the note, she's gonna try to sew our insurance comp. because she got banged up and can't work. what the hell ever. i state it often-with family, who needs enemies. here we are trying to pay bills off and every time i look around a new one comes up.
and not by our choice.

my life does get pretty interesting, i just don't think i can sit and type about every single thing that happens to me in one day without being here for hours. so i'll have to take a break and get back with you. i gotta get ready to head and pick up my stepdaughter from school and then travel to watch my son play bball. it's his first year and his first time to ever touch a bball. needless to say, he's not that good and don't get to play often. but like i tell him, you joined the team bench time or play time you'll be there to support ur team.

my advice to anyone reading this and even those that don't is : before you loan family money or overextend yourself for your family and they have a history of not coming through and doing what they say they will, DON'T!!!! because all it's going to do is cause trouble. from having to confront them about it or fight with your spouse bc your family has to do without for paying their bills.

i'm outa here. be back later. take care and God bless u.